I Quoteth:

"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love."
Woody Allen

Feeling

relieved

Wanting

to not be watching basketball

Playing

Deee-Lite: "World Clique"

Wednesday 09 May

And you, and you, and you were there!

God, that was queer of me.  Quoting Judy Garland upon my return to the journal.  Ah, hell, what can I say?  The idea of updating again makes me damn giddy and giddiness makes me gayer.  Besides, I'm feeling a bit more homo than usual at the moment, what with my entire household watching, um, whatever that big basketball game going on right now is.

Anyway, that's not the point.  The point is that I'm back, baby!  Yeah!  Time to roll out the red carpet and start the tinker tape parade!  Huzzah!

Ugh.

I have not encountered a more frustrating technical difficulty in the history of my life.  The tear-away gym pants which I wore in Pippin three years ago that refused to stay buttoned during the show, causing me to flash an entire audience of blue-haired women while I sang, "morning glow is here at last" didn't even compare to the kind of frustration my fucking, fucking, fucking FTP client put me through for the past month and a half.  I just. could. not. connect.  No matter what I tried to do, no matter what I attempted to fix, change, jiggle, blow up, I received and error message every time.  Not until today, when I set my computer up in my room at "home-home," (as we college folk call it), where I've finally arrived at 1:00 today, officially kicking off my summer, was I able to log onto ladydisdain.  I nearly started crying when I heard the vaguely familiar connection sound blare through my speakers.

I've wanted to update.  Really, I have.  But for whatever reason, after my last entry, I unexpectedly encountered a major case of writer's block.  I would open my editor, start writing, reread what I had written after a few sentences, decide it was crap, close the editor and go eat a fat-free cupcake.  I needed a break.  Plain and simple.

Then my life somehow got caught in the midst of a tornado.  On the one hand, I was thrilled to be getting cast as much as I was and to have the semester nearing its end but on the other hand, I was having a hard time trying to find the time to breathe.  There simply weren't enough hours in the day to allow me to write anything worth posting.  Instead of letting my journal turn to crap, I decided to let it be for a while.

For a while.  I knew I was too addicted to this shit to let it go for too long.  Alas, here I am, goats.  Ready and set for one kick-ass summer - and to document all of it right here.  I can't even tell you how excited I am about the next four months.  I don't have any big plans like last year - no Broadway workshops, no world traveling to speak of, nothing extreme - but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Right now, at this very second, the entire summer is like one glorious blank canvas waiting for me to fill it with the most vibrant colors imaginable.  I have no clue as to where the following weeks are going to take me or what kind of ride I should expect.  All I know is that a ride there will be and I can't wait for it to start.

Of course, I do know a few of the stops it'll be making along the way.  The first: work.  In lieu of anything theatre-related (which, after the theatrically saturated school year I just completed, would drive me up the wall) I opted to apply for a more typical college-kid-at-home-for-the-summer sort of job.  I took my first offer: Starbucks.  I know, I know, they're a corny commercialized excuse for a coffeehouse but I figure that a) I'd rather not work somewhere I'd actually enjoy going to socially, b) they at least make decent coffee, c) not for nothin', but there are some A-plus cuties that come into this particular location and d) no one can deny that it beats the hell out of ripping tickets for minimum wage.  I start 9:30a tomorrow.  Everyone say, "frappuccino!"  Stop number two: the show.  You didn't think I'd be able to have a completely theatre-free summer, now did you?  No, you know me better than that.  Unless you're reading me for the first time.  In which case, you don't know me from Adam's ass.  Uh, regardless, a new production company seems to have sprung up in my area that does surprisingly good work for a community theatre.  They're one of those community companies that are full of people who went to school as performance majors but ended up getting married and having kids instead of actually pursuing a career in the business, so there's at least a decent talent pool.  When my friend, Richard, called me and invited me to assistant direct and perform in my favorite show, Pippin, I almost wet my pants before I could say "yes."  The directing experience alone was all the incentive I needed since Dierdre and I are planning on putting up Sondheim's Assassins as a BFA project next year.  Oh, and Richard said that the cast was going to be sexy.  Okay, so that was all the incentive I really needed.  Sue me.  Stop number three: the gym.  Ohhhh yeah.  And I really mean it this time, too.  Really.  Hey, stop yer snickering.  I know I've said it before (about six thousand times before) but I'm forcing myself to stick to pretty rigorous work-out schedule this summer.  Actually, my dad is forcing my ass to stick to a pretty rigorous work-out schedule.  He's going to be strict about having me hop aboard his five day a week schedule, including spinning class on Fridays, especially since he forked over the dough to sign me up as a family add-on member.  I have no choice this time.  Which is good.  Plus, Bally's is on the way to work so I'll be guilted into going every time I pass it by.  By the time school starts in September, I'll be looking like, um, whomever a really big football player is.  And I'll look nice in a Speedo.  Not that I'd wear one, but you know, it's nice to have the option. 

You know, I was planning on going back and recapping all the dramatic events which occurred during my two month absence but on second though, I'd rather not.  Reason one being that I don't really feel like putting out the effort - hey, it's the summer, dammit - and the second being that I'd rather not look back at this point.  The 2000-01 year for me is over and done with.  I'm about to pass GO into my next chapter.  I'd prefer to look forward.  Onto my blank canvas.

It's good to be back.